Babymoon

So this is it. In a few short hours Derrick and I will embark on our last alone trip before we become parents. I don’t know quite how to explain the surreal feeling that I have. I mean ok, technically we’re already parents. TECHNICALLY! Yes Lexie is in there moving and grooving and growing by leaps and bounds every day but she’s still in there. Safe and sound and relatively low maintenance. I’m sure that part is going to last for a whole…two seconds after she is born.
Never again will it be this easy for us to travel. One quick call to my mom and Fozzy had a babysitter for the long weekend. He’ll be in Dayton spending some quality time with my parents and brother and also his BFF, Mina. He’ll chase rabbits in the backyard and get lots of belly rubs and treats. He is set. Actually I’m kind of jealous. I would love to spend a long weekend at my parent’s house being babied. Yummy food, little responsibility, possible head rubs until I fall asleep. Sign me up!
However, Florida Is calling my name. We are leaving tonight and will come home late Monday night. We’re staying with my friend Kelli who was recently transferred there for work. She lives in Jacksonville and has an extra bedroom for us to crash in. I forsee good food, laughs and some time by the pool and at the beach in our future. Sunday we’re going to Tallahassee to meet up with Joe and Robbin. They also recently moved to Florida. I am excited to see them as well.
And we need this vacation. NEED IT! We have spent the last few months standing on the brink of chaos. We need it for our sanity and our marriage. Derrick’s job is hell. It’s honestly the hardest and most horrible thing about our lives at this point. It is the 100% only thing causing me stress right now and I don’t even have to go. I hate everything about it and I can’t understand why he won’t look for something else. I want so badly to be happy and enjoy these last few childless months with my husband but there is always something happening at that place that stops us in our tracks. Derrick is ALWAYS stressed out. ALWAYS!
We have so many things to be thankful for. We are healthy, we have a lovely home and wonderful family. We have our Fozzy dog who has the biggest personality of any animal I have ever met and a jungle cat who is always good for snuggles. We have a healthy and lovely baby girl. We have been blessed with so many good things and we work so hard to overcome any obstacle in our way. I want to enjoy this time and not be stressed out.
But today we’re leaving on a jet plane in hopes that we will be relaxed and refreshed when we return. In hopes that we will be ready to face the days ahead with strength and grace. We will be meeting our little girl in 17 weeks or less. I am so excited about life right now and that also terrifies me. I have to keep believing that everything is going to continue to go well. It doesn’t work like that for most people but I have faith that we will all be just fine.

My dear Ninja

Tonight is the last night that I don't know you 100%. I know your heartbeat and I know your movements. I'm doing everything I can to provide you with the best kind of life possible while inside now and out soon. Tomorrow, I will know so much more about you. I find out if I am a mother to a daughter or to a son. I will allow myself to dream of a more gender specific future for you. Maybe you'll be a boy who loves dancing or a girl who loves sports. It matters not to me. I can't wait to see you bouncing around on the screen. It's been such a long time since I saw you and when I did you were not even formed. Just a little blinking heart. I can't wait to see you.
Most of all, I'm excited to hear that you're healthy. I have to believe that everything will be ok and you'll be healthy. Your daddy and I opted out of the Downs and CF screenings and while I've second guessed myself I have to remember that you're in God's hands. I can only do what I can do to keep you safe and healthy and the rest is up to him.
My dear ninja, I love you so much. I became the happiest person on the planet the moment I heard the news that you were on the way. I am honored to be your mommy and I can't wait to see you tomorrow.

Always,
Mommy